DJ Hannah Laing decides to stay sober following the loss of her best friend

DJ and producer Hannah Laing reflects on what has been one of the most challenging years of her life, following the death of her childhood best friend, Ellie Scanlan. Just days before she was set to headline her hometown festival, Ellie passed away, leaving Hannah devastated. The news came while Hannah was on tour in Ibiza, preparing for the "Doof In The Park" event in Dundee, just last July.

"When I received that phone call, it felt like my entire world crumbled," she shared in an emotional interview. Faced with a tough decisioncancel the festival or push throughHannah chose to honor her friend's memory by continuing with her performance. "Ellie was supposed to come to the festival. She would have wanted me to carry on," Hannah explained. Despite her grief, she took to the stage, although she admitted that performing was an overwhelming challenge.

"I saw a flag in the crowd with Ellie's face on it, and it hit me hard. My mind wasn't in the right place, but the crowd in Dundee was incredibly supportive. They understood what I was going through, and many of them were grieving too, because Ellie was such an important part of the community there," she said.

After the event, for the first time in her 12-year career, Hannah canceled upcoming performances, citing her struggles to perform while coping with grief. "I was breaking down during my sets, crying uncontrollably, and feeling utterly drained," she admitted. She expressed her gratitude toward her fans, who responded with immense understanding and support when she explained her situation publicly. "I didn't receive a single negative comment. Everyone was so kind," she added.

Hannah also revealed that she had been relying on alcohol to numb the pain of losing Ellie. "I turned to partying as a way to cope. Looking back, it wasn't the healthiest approach," she said. "Drinking helped me escape the sorrow for a while, allowing me to keep performing. But in between the shows, I was on flights, crying and feeling awful, just waiting for the next performance to drink away the pain."

The loss of her friend, combined with the pressures of touring, intensified the grief. "No one can prepare you for something like that while in the public eye," she remarked.

However, Hannah has now been sober for 54 days, a milestone she feels proud of. "I've done 17 shows since, and while it hasn't been easy, I'm starting to find my balance," she said. Fellow DJs who have gone sober reassured her that it takes time to adjust. "They told me, 'Its tough in the beginning, but it will get easier, and youll eventually enjoy it again,'" she shared.

Hannah also believes Ellie would be proud of her decision to embrace sobriety. "She would have supported me, no question," she said. "We were both known for our partying ways, but I think shed be happy I made this change."

Through her personal struggles, Hannah feels a renewed connection to Dundee, the city where her career took off. "I started out playing at the student union, and that's where I began building a small, loyal fanbase," she recalled. Now, she has opened a new community music studio in the city, aiming to support young people with an interest in electronic music. "Music equipment is expensive, and not everyone has access to it. When I started, there were no DJ facilities in Dundee, so I had to travel to other places just to learn," she explained.

The studio, named "doof Studios," is located in the Street Soccer Change Centre and was created in collaboration with the social enterprise Turn The Tables. It offers DJ and production equipment, free workshops, and affordable private hire for young people who might otherwise lack access to such resources. "I want this space to be a place where people can find routine, confidence, and an outlet for their creativity," she said.

Hannah also hopes the studio will offer young people an opportunity to perform at her festival. "We've opened a few slots at 'Doof In The Park' for some of the people learning at the studio," she revealed.

In addition to the studio, Hannah has released a song in Ellie's memory, "Have You Ever Loved (Ellie)." The track, which features vocalist Hannah Boleyn, was named BBC Radio 1's "Hottest Record" last month. "This is the most meaningful song Ive ever written," Hannah said. "The lyrics and vocal immediately made me think of Ellie. Working on it became a way for me to channel my grief." She described Ellie as a "main character" with a magnetic presence, adding, "She was loyal, kind, and the life of every room. She would be beyond thrilled to see this attention surrounding her."

Hannah concludes that Ellie would not only be proud of her studio project but also of the track she created in her memory. "Ellie was always the type of person to make the best of any situation. I know she would have loved this," she said.